In five days’ time we’ll be in 2016. Just a small reminder for anyone, like me, who forgets this every single Christmas and is then really shocked and disoriented for at least half of January.
So, 2015. If I was a YouTuber this post would be a montage of clips from throughout the year. As I’m nowhere near that savvy (and my day-to-day life isn’t *all* that exciting), we’re here instead. I’m trying to puzzle over in my head whether I’ve had a good year or not.
On the surface, sure, 2015 has granted me some fantastic opportunities and once in a lifetime experiences: I donned a mortar board and graduated university with both my parents in the audience; I got on my first long-haul flight and spent a week sightseeing New York; I’ve felt more ‘me’ this year than I ever have before, and it’s very refreshing. As well as the major events, I’ve got a lot of treasured memories from early 2015 of just enjoying myself in Reading in my final year of uni and getting dressed up with the girls from home for nights out and drinks.
There’s also the tragic memory of giving myself food poisoning in the spring. I spent two weeks scared to leave the house for fear of what might happen (tmi, I know, but too funny not to share).
However it’s not been a complete year of highs and I’ve experienced some pretty low lows. We sadly lost my (sort-of) uncle Mike in March pretty suddenly, and I attended my first funeral which was an emotional day to say the least. Fast forward to after graduation, and luckily I was able to land a job at my local Caffe Nero making coffee for Malvern’s elite in September (I’m still there now and enjoying it) but that wasn’t before two long, agonising months at home of unemployment. Sitting around doing nothing while not having any income to treat yourself or save for the future is more than a bit disheartening. On top of that, as you all know, my Dad was in June diagnosed with oral cancer, and the past six months of my life at home have been a heartbreaking display of how cancer can barrel into your life and fuck shit up. I wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else while he was ill and I’m so glad we got to spend the last few months of my dad’s life as a family where it all began.
All of these I believe have contributed to my currently slighty depressed state. I haven’t been officially diagnosed with anything as of yet, but I’m slowly learning that looking after #1 is my priority which is sort of helping – I’ve recently taken an interest in Lush bath bombs, Yankee candles and saying no to socialising when I’m not totally in the mood too. I’m drinking less, too, because drunk me is the world’s biggest Emma pity party.
When you cobble all of that together you can see I’ve had a bit of a tough ride in 2015. I come to the end of some years thinking that they’ve been really good years, but not too much has actually happened in them. This year has stretched me as a person and I’m really appreciative of that (no matter how utterly shit it’s been at points).
Until next time,